Sometimes you just need a beer...

Today was one of those days. On the way home from work, a co-worker and I stopped and got beer and 2 for 1 burgers. Good stuff. Now this was great because it made me super sleepy and I finally got a quality nap in, but bad because it makes me sound like I condone drinking for therapeutic purposes...oh well. It hit the spot.

Nothing really bad happened today, I just have had a lot on my mind lately and at times it is overwhelming. Trying to figure out life as a grown up is actually much harder than you realize as a kid... I guess I'm successful and the such, but I just feel like I'm lacking purpose at the moment and it bothers me...

Also, Lent has been getting to me this year. It's like God is trying to talk to me through the priests' homilies. I'm not sure if it's a guilty conscience thing, or what... I am by no means a bad person, but I guess I've been reflecting a lot on my NYC life/lifestyle and well I don't know if God really approves. I feel sort of hypocritical about being a Catholic at the moment...and I guess that's part of what's bothering me. Five years ago, I was still pretty pure and spiritual and a good Catholic. Now I go to church and I try to be good, but I feel like I could do better.

For instance this past weekend the homily was focused on how fifty years ago the church was sort of mystical and traditional, but in modern times, Catholics are willing to give up on the core fundamentals of the faith in order to fit in with society. Rather than be inspired by God, we use Him only when it is convenient for us... Now I know there are some things that I can never agree with the church on (mainly gay marriage), but there is a lot of good in what the church preaches...and Lent is the perfect time to reflect on it.

The problem is we tend to use "I'm human" when we do things wrong. It's just an excuse though. Sure we do things wrong, but we need to own up to them. Now, I'm not trying to be preachy or tell anyone what to do...all I know is that I need to try harder to be a better person and a better Catholic. God gets the final judgement, and I don't want Him to be disappointed in me...

Ok so sorry for the personal spiritual reflection here...it's just bothering me lately.

Also, I've been trying to figure out what direction to take with my life. There are things that I want out of life, and they're just slightly out of my grasp... Hopefully I can figure out a game plan soon!